I’ve been thinking about kindness a lot these days, and the opposite of kindness. Back in the day, well not that long ago, I kept myself up at night with a longing for someone to be kind to me. I don’t know if this sounds pathetic, but it’s the truth. After lots of searching and lots of suffering, most of which could certainly be avoided if I had only known that this thing, this act that I searched for someone to give to me, was something I could provide myself.
Many times, when we think of treating ourselves we imagine a trip to a mall perhaps, or some late night online shopping. Some new clothes or a pair of shoes, just something to have. But often, this is an empty pursuit because once we get over the temporary high of a new acquisition, buyers remorse might set in, or the sadness upon realizing that emptiness we thought we would fill with this treat is still very much there.
The ultimate treat is being kind to yourself. But how to accomplish this?
Although it’s great to have something of a national day to celebrate love, it’s also important to remember that this is in essence a commercial holiday intended to perpetuate a consumerist culture and through successful impacts of advertising campaigns, people not swept up in the Valentine’s day hype can end up feeling unworthy or unloved.
Those of us who find ourselves single on this day should resist the urge to feel bewildered, especially after viewing the ubiquitous social media posts of loving couples airbrushed to perfection, flowers that look like they could never die,
So what about those of us with the freedom to spend the holidays solo? Well, it depends on the reason for this freedom and whether it’s something that you’ve embraced.
Are you facing holiday solitude because you’ve alienated everyone all year and now nobody invited you over even for a plate of cooked food? Does this make you sad? If this is the case it’s okay, don’t panic, there’s still chance for redemption (there always is btw)…
When I first moved to America the only celebrities I could recall with ease were Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet (because of Titanic), Will Smith and Denzel Washington (because he’s Denzel Washington!). Most others i’d have to think long and hard and in the end would probably have no idea who they were. So when I realized people were always referring to celebrities, or things that happened in movies and TV shows I accepted i’d be confused for a long time…
The idea that we shouldn’t judge someone based on experiences with another unrelated person is a good one right? Is it better to give everyone a chance? Well we all judge each other – it’s basic human nature. Throwing stones is a different story. But we observe others and make predictions to help decide who we will let get close to us and who we prefer to keep further than arms length. The key to this balancing act seems to be that one should have faith that their own intuition will guide towards and away from situations as is necessary to protect ones harmony, and sanity.
From ever since i’ve known myself i’ve been terrified of insects – all types but bees and wasps especially. Then this summer I ended up in Indonesia and then the Australian Outback and if I was to enjoy any of it I needed to get over my fear of bugs promptly.